Days at Island ICU: 10
Days at Harborview ICU: 109
Days at Regional: 163
For those that have known Athena before she got sick, I thought I would share one of the rare moments of seeing Athena without being in a withdrawal state and looking like herself. This picture was taken at Harborview after her surgery in the recovery room. (50 µgrams Fentanyl IV) The only other time I was able to cherish the moment is when Dr. Ann Lipkey used Fentanyl which began the first round of weaning Athena off the medical narcotics. I can’t begin to imagine the suffering Athena has gone through over the last 9 months. Try to put yourself in Athena’s position and ask yourself how long could you tolerate what she has been put through? A month, week, day or even an hour of this torture.
I was upset to see Athena’s legs strapped to her bed when she has been having muscle spasms and moving her legs is the only way she can try to relieve the pain. My request for muscle relaxers for Athena has been ignored so far. Her nurse freed her when we said we would be in the room to watch her. Athena was trying to get out of her bed again and there wasn’t enough staff to keep a close eye on her. I wonder what happened to the sitters she had assigned to her previously so they didn’t have to strap her down.
I thought Dr. Clark was using Propranolol to address Athena’s trauma related symptoms. Propranolol is primarily used to control heart rate. The battle the care team had was keeping her heart rate from jumping to 160+ and oscillating in the 130 range after giving Athena her meds. The solution, wean without the scream using Propranolol to mask the life threatening withdrawl effects. (tachycardia, coma, seizures, ...)
I brought Athena’s mom to visit today and we took Athena outside for some fresh air and scenery. There was a picnic going on in the employee parking lot so we stopped by and let Athena enjoy the good times folks were having. (music, cookout, laughing)
You asked how long one could endure such torture… a very good question indeed. I was put on Klonopin years ago for anxiety. They told me at the time it “was not very addicting”. That was a flat out lie on their part. Before I demanded to know how to wean myself off this drug, I was taking a total of 4 mg a day to achieve the “desired” affect. I went to another doctor and he told me that he didn’t know how I was even awake to see him with that high a dosage.
I started the weaning process and made down to half of what I was taking (now I take a total of 2 mg a day). I had to stop weaning. There are no words to describe what coming off this type of drug is like. It affects you not just mentally, but physically. It is horrible.
This is just one drug. I cannot even begin to imagine what Athena has been through/is going through. All I can say is that I’m very sorry and I can somewhat imagine your frustration because I myself have experienced doctors seemingly lack of interest or concern for someone trying to come off these powerful drugs. I am in no way trying to imply that I can relate with all Athena has been through. I cannot imagine. But I do know the torture of trying to come off even a single drug. Again, I’m very sorry. And to answer the question of how long could I endure such a thing… I have no idea. With my trying to come off Klonopin alone, and the torment of that, I certainly cannot even begin to imagine what she has been through.
Thanks Ron for sharing your battle with prescription addictions.
Athena faces additional challenges as the doctor treating her has a distaste for drug addicts. The line is blurred between treatment and punishment.
It’s frustrating when the people you are counting on for your heath care needs translate carelessness and failure into just another sad tragedy everyone needs to accept.